A silent wish.

We sat in the car, partially silent and partially chatting about the beautiful scene. After a point of time, our conversation picked up momentum and we began talking about the party that we were to attend at 11 pm.

The night scene passed by and we returned home, tipsy and drowsy. She was lying on the bed with me and I was looking up at the ceiling. I wanted to know what she was thinking though I was hit with alcohol. I wanted to sleep desperately. The room was dark and I was feeling weak. Few minutes passed by and we were having a warm up conversation. She seemed tired and sleepy. There was something on her mind that reflected on her face. I noticed it the first day I saw her. She did not seem to enjoy as much as I did at the party. She had something on her mind that I wanted to know. I took the initiative to talk to her and it brought her to a level where she felt comfortable with me. It was 5 am and she began talking to me after I silently asked her to have faith in me.

‘I was married for less than a year.’

It was very surprising for me since she looked unassuming. She was 27 after all but she looked nothing close to that. She looked depressed and unhappy in life. I asked her to continue her facts.

‘My husband was not the right type for me. He was not ready to consummate the marriage. He had problem even when I wanted to hold hands. He kept telling me that it takes time. How long does it take to hold hands? He did not even want to touch me. He did not want to hug me. He took me to London and I stayed there and he had some work. All along I stayed at my mother-in-law’s residence. I asked him to get me back to India. He took way too long to hold me. I guess he had someone else on his mind. He never even loved me. We were on our way to divorce. He is not even signing the papers. He is taking me for a bad coaster ride. I am very tired of everything around me. I cannot take relationships any more. We still need to finalize our divorce but the problem is that his mother has treated me so well. All my belongings are in her house and now it will be a pain to bring it all back. She asked me to come back home anytime I wanted. She is really good to me even now but a lot of forces were there that were against me. I did not know what to do in an alien city. I wanted to come back to India. ’

There was a weird pause and it was dark. I could not see the day break since the room was heavily draped. It was getting cold because of the air conditioner. There were enough blankets for three people.

‘You were in a relationship before this right? Then why did you not marry your beau?’ I gently asked.

‘Yes I was. He was the most wonderful guy in the world. We had so many similarities. He loved me to death and we were similar in every aspect. He knew everything about me and I, about him. He was at my beck and call and he was ready to remove every kind of sadness that I had. He was a real sweetheart. His smile was the most amazing thing and he loved me so much that he was ready to marry me. After I left the city, his marriage was planned and so was mine but not with each other. It was inevitable. He really wished that he married me. He called me up before his wedlock day. I guess he still loves me but the problem is that he is a Muslim. My parents are pretty much against me marrying a Muslim. I hate this caste and religion barrier. There is nothing wrong in it. The society is messed up.’

I sighed at this universally true statement.

‘ I cannot think of marrying my friend because I cannot stay in any relationship. I need to work and stay happy and single. This divorce is driving me sad and mad. Other than that, my friend’s parents would not want their son to marry a divorcee. I don’t want our family relations to get bad. They have a very good relation with my cousin and her family. I just want to be friends.’

There was a pause and this time, I could see some light from the window. It was partially dark and my sleep left my eyes. I consoled her by holding her hands warmly and giving her the blanket. We went off to sleep at 7 am.

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